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"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:10-31)" |
Love Beyond The 50/50 Proverbs 31:10-31From the moment I met her, my beautiful bride has been a never ending source of strength and support; both spiritual as well as physical. Through her faith and love she has modeled the very picture of the lady of valor, a bride of noble character. It is rare that I can read Proverbs 31 without thinking of her; for in the same way as the lady of valor, my bride will forever stand as an example of love's selfless power. In this passage, the author speaks highly of this bride of noble worth. The lady cares for her family selflessly. She works hard and brings her husband good all the days of her life. She is robed in strength and dignity, and her children call her blessed. She is worth far more then rubies and has earned the confidence of husband. Then, in the midst of his praise, the author appears to divert and writes, “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land (Proverbs 31:23).” At first glance it might appear as if the subject of the text has changed, leaving its purpose slightly ambiguous. However, when viewed in the context of all that the lady of valor contributes to her family, it is clear that his position is described as a direct reflection of the strength and dignity of his noble bride. This verse speaks about a man who through the support and love of his God fearing wife was able to achieve great stature amongst his peers. It does not speak of what he has achieved because of her; rather, it speaks of what he has achieved through her love, her sacrifices, and her hard work. All was surrendered for her family, and her family was blessed for it all. TThese days, when I hear people speaking about marriage I often hear them talk about fairness, compromise, finding the middle ground, meeting your spouse half way, going the extra mile, and splitting everything 50/50. They like to quote from famous authors, newspaper advice columns, Talk shows, and even radio broadcasts. In the end it sounds more like a business proposal than a marriage; “maximize our returns with minimal expenditure!” Now, allow me to add my own advice. If you freely surrender all, there will be no need to compromise. If you willingly meet your spouse where they are, you won’t have to find the half way point. And, if you learn to go the whole distance the first time, you’ll never need the extra mile to make up for lost ground. Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:2).” Christ did not compromise His love for us. There were no negotiations on the extent of His sacrifice compared to ours. No contracts signed, no deals bargained. We never met Him half way; instead, He met us where we were. His was the first and final move. The sacrifice He made was altruistic, without warrant, and free. It was God’s demonstration of ultimate love, that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).” There is no risk or danger in loving too much, no threat of peril or jeopardy for those who give without cost. Your resources will not run dry; your ability to love will not diminish. Thus, Paul encourage his readers, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:25-28).” In other words, love, regardless of cost. Therefore, do not set limits; do not try leveling the field. For, beyond the 50/50, beyond the give and take, and beyond all the mutual conditions imposed for the sake of fairness and equality, there is a whole new world of love for those who venture past the middle ground. Ruth showed it to her mother-in-law, the lady of valor to her husband, and Christ to the church. My lady of valor, without respite or hesitation, has shown it to me for 10 wonderful years, and continues to do so. This love is the excess you find when your cup overflows, it is the abundance found when all has been given. It is the example of God’s love for mankind, and the charge of every husband to his bride. It is the love that can only be found when we choose to go beyond the 50/50. [mp] Copyright © 2007 Michael D'Urbano All rights reserved www.modernpapyrus.org |
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